


If I Say

by Obidobe



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Battle of Mustafar, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, because I don't like the canon version
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2020-03-20 18:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18997801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obidobe/pseuds/Obidobe
Summary: If you were given one more chance, Would you bring me back to life? Bring me back into the light.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by If I say by Mumford and Sons

          Outside the walls of the ship, there was lava and burning heat, and Anakin. Outside meant confronting what he saw at the temple and accepting that the man he loved, that they loved, could kill the same people he had once fought to protect. Even the younglings when they had children of their own on the way. Except, as Obi-wan held Padm é ’s head to his chest as best they could with how big she was now, he could push all of it away for just a moment. All that mattered was calming her fears, making sure that whatever the outcome of this was that she and those babies were safe. “Padm é , Love, I need you to listen to me.” 

          Her rushed intake of breath and the roughness of her withdrawing from his hold, told him of her defiance even before her words did. “If you think I’m staying on this ship while you-”

          He softly took her face into his hands, running his thumbs over her cheeks, and smiled almost sadly as the action wiped her falling tears as well. “I very well may have to do something I do not want to do, to protect you and our children. I may not have a choice in the matter, but I will not allow you to watch. Could you stand by and witness Anakin and I fight to the death?”

          “Has it come to that? Is there no other way?” 

          Her fingers were so delicate as they curled around his wrists, eyes pleading. Obi-wan pressed a long kiss to her forehead. “I hope it hasn’t, Love. I want to bring him back home to us more than anything. I promise you, I’ll try my best Darling.” 

          “Something inside me tells me I’m the person to get through to him.”

          “And if he cannot see through the fog of Sidious and the dark side and he harms you?”

\----

          “He would never-” But then her voice stops dead in its tracks as she realizes that he very well might. Padmé had thought him to be good and just. She had forgiven his actions on Tatooine, even agreed to keep it from Obi-wan as they moved from a pair to a trio. At first she hadn’t believed Obi-wan when he told her about the Temple and what Anakin supposedly did. Her Ani would never do something like that. Kill children? Never. But then she had time in hyperspace to think and Tatooine and the Tuskens burned bright in her memory. He could kill children for he had before. He had darkness in him, but she had always believed the light in him was always stronger. As her entire world crumbled around her, the Senate, and the Chancellor being a sith lord, could she have faith that Anakin could be saved?

          “He’s reckless and unpredictable. His mind isn’t what it’s supposed to be. We have no idea what he’d do.” Obi-wan took a deep breath, gazing at her eyes. Both of his hands fell to caress her stomach, a warmth of his presence blooming over them in the force. It took her months to get used to feeling the force at all, but the way both Obi-wan and Anakin interacted with them made her feel calm and safe. “Leia and Luke need you. If I don’t come back, I want you to take off. Contact Bail. He’ll get you somewhere safe. Promise me, Padmé. Promise me you won’t leave this ship no matter what happens outside.”

          “Obi-wan-”

          “Promise me.” Very rarely had she seen him so serious when the mask of Jedi master had fallen away. With her, with them, Obi-wan was softer around the edges and allowed himself to relax. He was always one step behind Anakin, a sassy quip on his tongue, and charming his way out of things. Even in the thick of things he was never outwardly serious. Then again the last few hours she had seen him as grave and serious as he ever had been. “Please, Padmé. Not for me, or for yourself, but for the children.”

          She held his gaze for a few moments before softly conceding. “I promise. For them.”  

          He allowed the relief of her acceptance wash over him for a moment before he turned to the droid standing nearby. “Artoo, drop the ramp please.” 

          Padmé managed to grab his wrist as he turned away and stepped closer to him. “Whatever you must do if you cannot save him, come back Obi-wan.” 

          “I cannot promise that, Love.”

          “They need at least one of their Fathers.” She felt her bottom lip began to tremble. “I can’t do this alone.” 

          “You could, you are the strongest person I know Padmé.” He pressed one last kiss to her lips, left hand skimming her stomach. “I’ll do my best. I love you.”

          “I love you too.”

          The last thing she saw was Obi-wan dropping his cloak as Anakin approached before Artoo rose the ramp once again. It had taken her and Anakin so long to get Obi-wan comfortable in saying those three words so easily and openly. She couldn’t make herself accept that she may have heard them for the last time.

\------

          Anakin’s golden eyes hurt Obi-wan more than he’d like to admit. His dark cloak was billowing around his legs, the sulfur air whipping across the landing platform. “Have you been sent here to kill me, Obi-wan?” 

          “Who is still alive to give me such an order, Dear One?”

          “Don’t call me that!” Anakin growled jaw clenched tightly as he stared at him.

          “But that is what you are to me. My Dear One.” Obi-wan kept his hands held loosely at his sides, fingers curled slightly. 

          “You’re lying. You’re always lying!” 

          “I may have lied about too many things Anakin, but how I feel about you is not one of them.” 

          “If you love me, then join me. We could rule my Empire together with Padmé.” His voice was soft, but the smile on his face made Obi-wan’s stomach sick. “You once told me you’d follow me anywhere. Keep your word. Follow me to the Dark side, Obi-wan.” 

          “You know I cannot do that.” He took a step closer, bottom lip through his teeth. “You’re going down a path we cannot follow you down.”

          “My Master told me what you and Padmé have planned. I didn’t believe him at first, but of course. You would try to steal my wife and My Kids.”

          He pushed away the flash of pain in his chest at the emphasis on the singular ownership and at Anakin calling anyone else his Master. “I don’t need to steal them, Anakin. He’s trying to make you distrust me. We’re always better together Anakin. He’s afraid!” 

          “All you ever do is lie.” He hissed.

          “We both have kept things from each other, told lies to protect the ones we cared for. You can’t blame me for mine as if you’re innocent.” Anakin had his saber gripped in his hand, such a familiar sight but foriegn all the same. “This isn’t about whatever mistakes you blame me for or what lies Sidious has planted in your mind about me. I know what you did, Anakin.”

          “I did what was necessary to bring peace.” 

          "I don’t want your peace if killing children is considered necessary.” 

          Anakin growled, “So you are here to kill me.”

          “I am here to bring you back from the darkness, Dear One. You’ve done some terrible things, things I never thought you were capable of, but I love you. I love you and Padmé and those two beautiful babies you both have allowed me to call my own as well. Please. Don’t make me hurt you.”

          “You’re weak.” 

          “If love makes me weak, so be it.” He didn’t move toward his lightsaber even as Anakin lit his. “Once upon a time my padawan used to believe love made one stronger.” 

          “The dark side is stronger than all. You will not take them from me.” Obi-wan stared at Anakin and it was like all the years of knowing him rushed past his eyes in a second. Each step the newly turned sith took was almost in slow motion as Obi-wan reached for his lightsaber, but he didn’t light it. He gripped it tightly, arm limp at his side. How could he return to that ship and tell the woman they loved he had killed Anakin? How could he look at those two babies and raise them, with the guilt knowing he had killed their true father? “Somewhere inside you is the man that showed me what it meant to love, to be cared for, and to really be centered and at peace. I love you, Dear One. I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you.” 

          Anakin grabbed his throat tightly, lightsaber flickering slightly in his other hand. “Are you so pathetic you won’t even fight for your life?”

          “I will not fight you.” Obi-wan gasped out, lightsaber rolling from his fingers and bouncing to a stop beside them. “I cannot.” 

          The pressure on his neck increased and Obi-wan willed himself to keep his gaze on Anakin’s face even as his vision began to blur. Then all at once, he was tossed aside. Hunched on all fours, he heaved, trying to catch his breath as he looked over at the man he thought he knew. “I should kill you for simply wasting my time, Old Man.” 

          “Anakin… Please.” His throat was raw, each syllable painful as he pressed a hand against his chest. “Don’t do this.” 

          “Your Anakin is gone.” He sneered, “Only Darth Vader exists.” 

          “I don’t believe you. Padmé believes in you, the good in you.” Obi-wan held his gaze even as the dark gloved hand curled around the lightsaber discarded on the ground. Anakin had his thumb over the button as he stalked forward. Obi-wan set his jaw and rose to lean back on his calves. If Anakin was going to kill him, it’d be staring at his face.

          He stared into the eyes of the man he loved, as Anakin aimed the unlit lightsaber at his chest. The same lightsaber that just before Obi-wan had left for Utapau he had tinkered with, claiming he only wanted the best for him. Even as he snarled down at him Obi-wan thought of the little boy that would climb into his bed at night because he was cold and he missed his mother. He thought about the shy, but fierce teenager that tried his best to make his Master proud. The last thing that flashed over his mind was the kiss he had given Anakin before leaving to Utapau and the promise of finding a reason to travel to Naboo when he returned for the birth. So many promises, so many conversations left unfinished all because he wasn’t there when Anakin needed him. Just like Sidious planned.

          Anakin wretched his eyes away when the hilt of the unlit saber pressed just above Obi-wan’s heart, squeezing them shut as his fingers flexed. Obi-wan swallowed roughly, “Look at me.” A moment passed and even though his voice was raw and broke as he yelled, he repeated himself. “Look at me as you kill me!”

          The mop of blond hair whipped around his head as Anakin centered himself again, but his eyes were slow to open. It reminded Obi-wan of the hazy mornings, waking the man up from groggy sleep and the gentle opening of his gaze. When his eyes were fully open, it wasn’t the painful golden eyes reflecting back at Obi-wan, but piercing blue he loved so much. The lightsaber pressed into the Jedi Master’s chest was dropped like hot metal as a wretched sob ripped from Anakin’s throat. His own weapon rolling from his grip as he collapsed back onto the dark rock. 

          It was getting so hard to breathe, but Obi-wan squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to form the words loud enough to hear over the erupting magma around them. “Anakin?” 

          Anakin’s breathing was coming in quick short spurts, fingers curling in the dark rock in panic. Tears were streaming down his face, body shaking with the force of his hyperventilating. “Master I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” 

          “Oh, Dear One.” The last thing Obi-wan remembers seeing as he collapsed onto the dark rock beneath him was Anakin scrambling the short distance between them, his shadow illuminated above him.

\----


	2. Chapter 2

           When they had taken off from Coruscant, Padmé wasn’t sure how the day would end. Everything around her was burning, shattering to smithereens, but Obi-wan had been there beside her, sure and safe as always. The bruises that were bright against the paleness of his skin around his neck were painful for her to look at. It wasn’t hard to understand why Anakin could barely stand in the room. She gripped the older man’s hand, finding a slight bit of relief with the consistent beeping of the monitors, and hoped they got to Polis Massa in time. The basic med droid on her ship had fit an oxygen mask over his mouth and given a pain killer directly into his arm. She grimaced as the twins moved within her. It made her think of Obi-wan telling her they could feel the force, feel the tension in the air, but it was hard now to push those dark feelings away. One man she loved was unconscious needing the aid of a machine to breathe and the other was curled up in the corner hugging his legs to his chest and trying not to completely fall apart more than he already was.

           It was difficult to look at Anakin. His eyes were blue again, but with the constant tears falling from them they were more tinted red than anything. His fingers were so tight on his arms as he hugged his legs she was sure he’d have his own bruises once he stopped. He hadn’t said much, other than I’m sorry and Obi-wan’s name that had died on his lips as he laid the man on the table in the ship. He had stumbled away, sliding down the wall, and watched as the med droid worked on Obi-wan. It had been a few hours and he had yet to move from the position he had first fallen into. He looked so much like her husband, but unlike the tuskens’ she couldn’t get the way Obi-wan looked as he told her what Anakin had done.

           Padmé pushed off her seat, letting go of Obi-wan’s hand to run a few fingers through his hair. Without looking at Anakin, she spoke to him, “You can come closer, you know.” 

           “Can’t.” Anakin hissed out, soft and broken.

           “And why not?” 

           “My fault.” Padmé slowly looked over, her heart breaking into little pieces as Anakin sniffled hard. His head was off his knees and he had pushed his hair from his eyes, but his dried tears were evident on his cheeks and brows furrowed as he shook his head. "I hurt him."

           “It is your fault.” Anakin’s eyes widened, and while it hurt to see him like this, she continued. “You chose to kneel to Sidious, you chose to not have faith in us that we’d get me through this pregnancy alive, and you chose to strangle the man we both love. I won’t lie to you, Ani. I love you too much for that.”

           "Do you still love me?"

           She pressed her lips together in a thin line, before sighing. "I can't tell you everything will be what it was before, but I do love you Anakin. We wouldn't have come for you if we didn't."

           "I thought it was sent to kill me."

           "He was." Padmé flicked her gaze from to him, after seeing the clench of his jaw and anger spark in his eyes. It was still too soon. "But I thought you knew when it came to you he'd do anything to save you."

           Anakin bowed his head in shame, before softly asking, “Do you want me to leave?”

           “I don’t and I have a feeling he doesn’t either. You have a lot of explaining to do, Anakin, but I won’t have you killing yourself with guilt just yet.” Padmé shook her head, returning to gaze at Obi-wan and brush her fingertips over the beginnings of his beard not covered by the oxygen mask. “Obi-wan risked everything to bring you back to us after all he knew you had done. Come and hold his hand Anakin.” 

           The rustle of robes and boot heels padding against the sterile floors of the ship were her only indications that Anakin had listened until his shadow fell over the bed and his hand reached for Obi-wan’s resting on the bed. Her gaze snapped up to Anakin’s face when his shuddered breathing was heard. Tears were welling up in his eyes again, bottom lip trembling as he whispered. “I’m sorry.” 

           Padmé pressed a kiss to Obi-wan’s forehead and flashed a sweet smile to Anakin, before taking her leave. The two lightsabers were hidden in R2-D2, and Padmé had to trust that her husband had truly come back to them. She still took her cup of tea C-3PO made in the cockpit of the ship, watching the security cameras just in case. 

\-----


End file.
